When Fantasy Equals Reality

Yeah that was quite a Week 1 in the NFL. Comeback victories (I see you Andy Reid), upset specials (Garoppolo you dog), newborn stars (Carson City baby), and resurgent veterans (clone Larry Fitzgerald) abound across America’s favorite sport. Not only did real football return but so did that fantasy action. Yours truly did as expected and won in all three leagues beating a doctor, a lawyer, and a complete stranger. Now I just wish I had drafted Drew Brees, damn. After Week 1 I am all tied up with the G-Man:

Weekly Series: 0-0-1

Matty D Overall: 10-6

G-Man Overall: 10-6

Week 1 Cold Hard Locks

(G-Man and Matty D have same picks unless otherwise noted.)

Thursday Night Football

New York at Buffalo

The first color rush uniform game of the year should feature a ton of actual rushing. This divisional rivalry features two teams desperate for a victory after both falling in Week 1. The Jets definitely looked more impressive with 7 sacks against the Bengals. Heck if it wasn’t for AJ Green embarrassing Revis of all people the Jets would have won. On the other side, the Bills got manhandled by the Ravens D gaining only 160 total yards of offense. Rex and Rob will both be looking for a job if that doesn’t improve. I for one think that it will. These Thursday Night games are a bit wacky and Buffalo is up at home. So I am taking the Bills here thanks to a late Fitzpatrick INT.

Prediction – Bills over Jets 17 to 13

G-Man is taking dem Jets here as he still thinks Fitzpatrick is a starting caliber quarterback.

Sunday

1pm Slate

New Orleans at New York

Guess that $200 million defensive makeover is about to get tested hey G-Men? Brees enters with 419 passing yards to his name already and will immediately test the pass rush of Vernon and cover skills of Jenkins. This game looks like a repeat of last year, so basically a Madden game. Buy all players in this fantasy matchup as Odell will make cheese of that poor Saints secondary and Cooks, Snead, and Fleener will be running wild on the blue jerseys. The Saints come in with more to lose though after that Raiders game and Brees gets it done in the Meadowlands.

Prediction – Saints over Giants 49 to 42

G-Man is taking the Giants as he liked Dan’s Giant slippers last week and is clearly a closet-Eli fan now. True shame, true shame.

Tennessee at Detroit

Neither team showed much defense but Stafford really impressed without his old friend Megatron. Playing at home, the Lions get it done with a diverse passing offense that includes wideouts, tight ends, and running backs.

Prediction – Lions over Titan 34 to 24

Dallas at Washington

Tell you what, that rookie running back for Dallas looked a lot like Trent Richardson last weekend. And he is at least running behind the best offensive line in football. Tell you another thing, the Redskins are as overrated as Josh Norman. Look for both Elliot and Alfred Morris, returning to his old team, to run all over a weak Redskins defense for the divisional W.

Prediction – Cowboys over Redskins 24 to 16

Kansas City at Houston

Great early season game here as two playoff bound teams face off. Houston looked like their offensive retooling took hold last week especially with the rookie Will Fuller breaking out. Kansas City showed some guts with that massive comeback against the Chargers. I like Houston here though. The Chiefs still don’t have Jamaal Charles and are not at 100% on defense either. Houston is trying to show they are the class of the AFC South and they get it done on the home turf.

Prediction – Texans over Chiefs 17 to 13

G-Man is going Chiefs here due to his deep affection for Andy Reid. Still wants him back in Philly.

Miami at New England

Watch out here in this game. New England stole one in Arizona last week and did look good doing it, especially on defense. But the offense lucked out with some blown coverages by that Cardinals secondary. They didn’t run the ball well and caught the Honey Badger still not at 100%. Miami played the Seahawks tough and if it wasn’t for a WIDE-OPEN Kenny Stills dropping the ball, they would have won. So I’m doing the unfathomable here and going Dolphins over Patriots. Adam Gase is a hell of a coach as that Miami D strangles the Pat’s makeshift offense.

Disclaimer – If Gronk plays, my pick changes.

Prediction – Dolphins over Patriots 20 to 17

G-Man is making the “smart” choice and taking New England. But sometimes you gotta ride the lightning.

Baltimore at Cleveland

Honestly think Alabama would beat Cleveland this year. That defense has zero legitimate starters on it (Joe Haden, you got burned by Nelson Agholor). Baltimore is going to pound Josh McCown and then rumble through and over that pathetic defense. This is my lock of the week.

Prediction – Ravens over Browns 24 to 6 

This is Matty D’s Survival Pool Pick of the Week. Cleveland is a mistake by the lake.

San Francisco at Carolina

Cam Newton is pissed. The defense is pissed. I need Jonathan Stewart in fantasy. All Panthers all the way as they spank the 49ers. I don’t care about Monday Night, the Rams are trash. Run and hide Blaine Gabbert, run and Hyde.

Prediction – Panthers over 49ers 28 to 13

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh

This is my game of the week. There is gonna be blood, pain, and hits. Bad blood all over the place as two teams with track-meet offenses go up against powerful defenses. I like the Bengals a lot this year but without Tyler Eifert in this one, I’m taking the NFL’s best offense to get it done. Imagine the Steelers with Le’Veon Bell, that’s Halloween scary.

Prediction – Steelers over Bengals 27 to 24

4pm Showdowns

Tampa Bay at Arizona

Tampa beat their division rival last week which is a quality win. But Arizona got called out by their general manager for preparing like it was a preseason game. Look for them to make a statement, especially offensively. The Buccaneers lost their best pass rusher to an ACL tear making this a bad time to stop Carson and Company.

Prediction – Cardinals over Buccaneers 31 to 20

Seattle at Los Angeles

This is an absolute laugher right here. Case Keenum shouldn’t be starting an Arena Football game let alone one against the best defense in football. He probably would be cut by the Browns. Not sure how Jeff Fischer is getting a contract extension with the garbage he’s throwing out there on Sundays. They should bubble wrap Todd Gurley and move back to St. Louis. Also Seattle is a really good team and stuff.

Prediction – Seahawks over Rams 24 to 0 

Atlanta at Oakland

This game has letdown written all over it for a young Oakland team. Great, gutsy win in the Bayou last week has them riding higher than Snoop. Here comes a dangerous Atlanta offense with something to prove. Julio Jones is rarely coverable and Oakland doesn’t have viable corners or safeties. Khalil needs more than 1 second to get to Matt Ryan. Atlanta with the upset here bringing Jack Del Rio back to earth.

Prediction – Falcons over Raiders 21 to 17

G-Man is going with tha Raiders in this one, he’s young and immature just like them.

Jacksonville at San Diego

Don’t really have a strong vibe with this one but I think Rivers at home is good enough. Plus I think Jacksonville is still a collection of great parts, not a team. Go Chargers Go!

Prediction – Chargers over Jaguars 35 to 31

G-Man is taking Jacksonville, not sure why, not sure why not. Hope I win this pick.

Indianapolis at Denver

Luck should wear two helmets if they will let him. They are coming for you Andrew, your $140 million be damned. Plus that Colts defense is gonna get a heavy dose of the spry C.J. Anderson. In a low scoring affair, the Broncos march to a big 2-0 in Mile High.

Prediction – Broncos over Colts 17 to 10

Sunday Night Football

Green Bay at Minnesota

Great early season match-up here dampened slightly by the Vikings QB situation. The Vikings offense can’t just be Peterson. Aaron Rodgers looked crazy good again with some wild plays in their Week 1 win and I think he continues that against a great Minnesota defense.

Prediction – Packers over Vikings 17 to 13

Monday Night Football

Philadelphia at Chicago

Oh can you feel that? That’s called hope Philadelphia, in the form of a gun slinging, duck hunting Carson Wentz. As we ease him into the NFL against deficient defenses, Wentz will get to prove that he deserves to have the #1 selling jersey in the NFL under the bright lights of Soldier Field. If he comes through, the hype machine will rise to levels unseen since Chip Kelly was…wait dammit this city can be the worst sometimes.

Prediction – Eagles over Bears 24 to 17