(Amazon) – The Gang may have finally found their golden ticket. Left alone to close down Paddy’s Pub one night, Charlie Kelly inadvertently scored himself, and his friends, the opportunity of a lifetime—a book deal with a real publishing company, real advance money, and a real(ly confused) editor. While his actual ability to read and write remains unclear, Charlie sealed the deal with some off-the-cuff commentary on bird law and the nuances of killing rats (and maybe with the help of some glue fumes in the with an unstable editor on a bender). While The Gang is stunned by the news, and the legally binding, irrevocable contract left on the bar, they are also ready to rise to the task and become millionaires—and of course, help Charlie actually write the book. In their own inimitable voices, Charlie, Mac, Dennis, Sweet Dee, and Frank weigh in on important topics like Relationships, Financial Success and Career, Fashion and Personal Grooming, Health and Diet, and Survival Skills, providing insane advice, tips, tricks, and recipes (Rum Ham anyone?) as only they can.

Rum Ham recipe. Chardee MacDennis rules. Travel Guide to the Jersey Shore. How to properly write a letter to a professional baseball player. Thunder Gun Express fan-fiction as written by Charlie. Maybe a chapter guest-written by the Waitress or Cricket. This could easily be the greatest book ever written.

And most importantly, the D.E.N.N.I.S. System…

Also, with this economic advice we could solve all the world’s problems:

Maybe not.