USMNT Could Give Us the Greatest Early Independence Day Present Ever

In case you’ve been living under a rock, the US Men’s National Soccer Team has been taking Our Great Nation (yes, that all needs to capitalized) by storm. Last night’s last-minute-draw against Portugal means our boys have not yet clinched a spot in the Knockout Round. I personally think it further motivates the team to beat the Germans on Thursday and could potentially give Brazil the most amount of Murica the (rest of the) world has ever seen. Here’s how it’s going to happen:

USA beats Germany: USA wins Group G
Russia beats Algeria: Russia takes 2nd Place in Group H and thus has to play the USA in the Round of 32
USA beats Russia in Round of 32* 16 and moves on to Round of 16* Quarterfinal, Match 58, on July 4, 2014 in Rio de Janerio

Beat Germany and Russia, is this the Independence Day sequel I’ve been waiting for? According to the Boston Globe, almost 200,000 Americans bought tickets for USMNT games in Brazil. Could you imagine 200,000 Americans celebrating the most American Day of the year in the greatest party city in the world? Could you imagine if the USA actually a) made it to said Match 58 and b) won said Match 58? It would easily fulfill what comedian Bill Burr wants (start at 1:46):

*Thanks to Aris Loes for pointing out my mathematical error, I bring shame to my stats degree

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